You can’t go anywhere without getting and earful of someone else’s opinions. Being critical is easy. I recently had a conversation with someone who told me I was the kind of person who they could comment on how sunny it was outside and I’d say something about how it’s probably going to rain. That’s ridiculous because James Spann said it was a 0% chance of rain that day and I’m convinced God consults James Spann when it comes to what the weather does for the day in Alabama.
You know, I make a joke about that person saying that, but the truth of the matter is I took their opinion to heart. That comment, along with a few others they came up with took my day into a bit of a nose-dive. But I began to realize something. They had absolutely no perspective other than their own opinions about who I am and how I operate. I don’t want someone to tell me what my opinions should be, especially the ones I have about myself.
I think it’s interesting society seems to value opinion over perspective. “That’s what I think, so you have to respect that.” No, I don’t. Opinions are based on your personal life experiences, your personality type, your beliefs, your world-view; all of which are resources limited by your thoughts in your own brain put there by the continually aging filters through which each of us interprets the world. As such, opinions are the most “selfish” points of view. We think too highly of the thoughts bouncing around in our heads.
Opinions are what you have when you lack perspective.
I don’t mind constructive criticism, accountability, or guidance. Each of those things implies that the person giving them has more than a simple opinion, they have perspective.
Try this and see what happens. Go down to the inner city, into the most poverty stricken welfare areas, and start telling people about the benefits of networking with people outside of their immediate social confines. Actually, let me spare you the embarrassment and tell you that it’s not going to work out well for you. You don’t have any perspective of what it’s like to live in poverty, to be homeless. Perspective doesn’t require that you reduce your salary to welfare levels or make your home the crevasse of the nearest interstate overpass. Perspective doesn’t mean you have to have the exact same experiences as someone else.
Perspective is what you get when you set aside your opinions and engage.
The shop where I work is sandwiched between the projects and Birmingham’s largest homeless shelter. I meet a lot of interesting people. Maybe one day I’ll write about Donald’s story, a veteran whose most prized possession is a scrapbook filled with torn movie tickets. He and his daughter used to go to the movies every Sunday. She saved the stubs and made a scrapbook of all the movies they had seen together for her homeless father.
Maybe I’ll share Chris’ story – one of the most fiercely independent and hardest working people I have met. If only I could get him to accept mine or anyone else’s help and stop sleeping on old rotten haybales outside our shop in below freezing weather. He doesn’t want a handout, he has to earn it or he won’t accept it.
If you saw either of these guys on the street, you likely wouldn’t go out of your way to speak with them. When you engage with others, you get perspective. When you gain perspective, you gain empathy. Maybe that’s why more than semantics separate opinion from constructive criticism.
Our opinions are of so little value to anyone but ourselves. Nothing is wrong with having an opinion, but I think a proper perspective of where opinions rank in their ability to truly impact the lives we connect with is a healthy perspective to have.
That’s my opinion on perspective.
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