I was with a dear friend the other day and the conversation turned to my avoidance of social media. If you just did the proverbial double-take due to the obvious tension between someone who authors a blog and also prefers to avoid social media, welcome to my world. On the surface, it doesn’t make much sense. I’m okay with this particular inconsistency.
Social media provides a quick and easy way to keep up with all of the amazing things other people do and see how beautiful/handsome/ballin’ they are. Every now and then, you get the story of someone who is fighting an illness or lost a loved one – neither being envyable. But all the rest of Facebook, Instagram, etc. does very little but arouse envy in my heart. My conversation with my friend proved I am not alone.
No one posts about how they got to listen to their boss give them a passive-aggressive lecture on how they’re lousy at sales and should stay in the back office more often. No one posts about how their marriage is average – momma yelled at the kids after having a nervous break down and daddy can’t figure out how to get all the bills paid.
Facebook is a breeding ground for envy – at least it is for me… and I know I’m not alone.
That was the basic substance of my conversation with my friend. We were talking about a mutual friend of ours and how they seemingly have the perfect marriage, perfect kids, amazing house with 5-car garage – actually, I don’t know how many garages they have, but if I had a house that big, it had better have more than 3. We took turns talking about how much their posts drove us nuts. My friend had actually gone so far as to “unfriend” them – GASP!
The first thing I needed to remember is, just because it’s on the internet, doesn’t mean it’s true. If it isn’t Photoshopped, at the very best, it’s simply a momentary glimpse between when the shutter opened and closed. Only the best glimpses are going to make the cut to eventually be posted online.
The second thing I needed was to apply a paradigm shift in my thinking. It goes something like this: “I just don’t want it.” I’m not talking about denial, I’m talking about brutal honesty.
I know a guy that has multiple Lamborghinis in his 10-car garage. He wakes up at 4:00 to work out and then works until 10:30 at night. He is ruthless when it comes to business deals. Of course, I want one of his Lamborghinis… or one of his Ford GTs, or his Ferraris… *sigh*; but, I’m not willing to live or work like he does to get it.
I have another friend who is the same age as me and has about 2% body fat with 8-pack abs. He has been a fitness nut since graduating college and watches nearly every calorie he eats. Of course, I want to be all svelte while going shirtless in my tight pants, but I like watching the calories from my whiskey or my hamburger with white-bread buns and sugary sauces dance all over my taste-buds.
Life is about choices. I have made the choices that have me driving a little bitty truck and 20-30 pounds over-weight. I could make different choices – realign my priorities – and change those things. Life also happens. I can’t control all of the circumstances that come my way on any given day. Maybe my 42-year-old body likes being a little more poofy. Just because I work hard, doesn’t mean I’m going to have the same results or lifestyle as anyone else who works just as hard. However, if I wanted the “fancy” lifestyle and chiseled abs, there is no one besides myself that can prevent me from at least attempting to get it. I think all of us would be a lot more content if we just got honest – brutally honest.
What do you really want?
... Hey! Who ate the last hamburger?!?