Toilette or Toilet

I have been thinking about this blog for months.  I’ve been thinking about stories I could tell, experiences to relate to, something special that would stir up some sort of emotional response.  What I have realized, as I’m writing this, is the story was already written months ago.  There’s not much I can add that would “enhance” what was communicated.

If you follow my Instagram or Facebook feeds, you have been made aware that I take the first Saturday of each month to participate in local service projects.  I love it.  I have always felt that every person has something to offer and finding those opportunities to invest are extremely important – not just for the folks being served, but for the people doing the serving.  Sometimes, I feel like I get more out of those weekends than the people receiving the help.  These first Saturdays are a lay-up for people to get involved.

About three months ago, all of us were gathered to get our assignments and head out to our respective projects.  I was struck by a young woman named Wilma.  She was talking about working on getting her driver’s license, a few comments about her business she owns, and lots of hugs and smiles for everyone she came into contact with.  Her face seemed to have a permanent smile attached to it and it was contagious.  No one left a conversation with her feeling worse than when they started it.

I was fascinated.

I felt like it would be weird to walk up, introduce myself, and then ask to take her picture for my blog… so I just snapped one on the sly.

Wilma is the one in the wheelchair.  She’s the one who most might look at her and feel sorry for her lot in life.  That’s how I felt when I first saw her.  As I watched, I realized she was no victim – she was a victor.

I was inspired.

I didn’t speak with Wilma that day.  But Wilma taught me two things.

First, I don’t have an excuse – no one does.  If Wilma can choose her attitude and engage when simply getting ready for the day is a chore most of us will never know, we can do it, too.  That not to say, “Well, if THEY can do it, I certainly can do it.”  This is not a comparison of who is better positioned to succeed.  Without speaking directly to her, I could tell that Wilma has been doing this for a long time.  She made up her mind a long time ago that she was not going to let her circumstances dictate the outcome.  This is a moment by moment decision on her part.  It’s the same physical and mental training anyone does when they want to become great at something.  We can learn a lot from that.

Each of us faces different challenges – unique obstacles that wedge their way into our ideal scenario.  We can begin to make choices that dictate the outcome, rather than allowing our circumstances to set the course.

Second, I learned the importance of understanding and remembering how our actions impact those around us.  Again, this is about choices.  Wilma has all kinds of obstacles she faces on any given day and she chooses to live a life of victory.  I didn’t pick this up because she told me it was true.  I was able to understand that simply by watching.  People are watching you – I don’t have any other way to say that without sounding creepy.  I took a secretive picture of someone and wrote a blog about them.  Yes, slightly creepy.  You have no idea who is paying attention at any given moment.  For those of you reading this who have kids, this truth is all too real.  They pick up on everything.

Wilma didn’t have a clue how her life was impacting mine.  She didn’t have a clue that, months later, I’d be writing and publishing a blog about her.  But, her life impacted mine.  Your life is impacting someone.  If they were to write a blog about you, how would it read?

Look, I’m not so naïve as to think every day in Wilma’s life is sunshine and roses.  However, she has practiced this choice so when those obstacles show up, she's prepared with a response.  I have since had the opportunity to speak with her and hug her neck.  I have watched her react to breaking her leg and not letting that slow her down in reaching the goals she has set for herself.  It’s truly inspirational.

You and I choose the world we live in.  There are all kinds of opportunities to blame people, politics, or experiences for why we’re in the mood we’re in.  What you choose doesn’t happen in a bubble. It’s like a fragrance.  It will either be something people are drawn to or repelled from.  Choose your fragrance.  Are you going to be eau de toilette or eau de toilet?

… I think I'm getting better at my "Dad puns"...  Apparently, I'm learning something from Jacob Rinker, as well.